Atem has bad luck
by shadyatem
Summary: Atem is the King of Egypt, dignified and just with every luxury in the world. The gods seem to love him, but even pharaohs are given their bad days. Not very good at summaries. Bit of Atem and Mana if you squint.


Summary: Atem is the King of Egypt, dignified and just with every luxury in the world. The gods seem to love him, but even pharaohs are given their bad days. Not very good at summaries. Bit of Atem and Mana if you squint.

F.Y.I: in History I learned that the ancient Egyptians had plumbing and sewege systems, so my shower and toilet are possible.

I do not own YuGiOh!

My name is Atem. I am the Pharaoh of Egypt, son of Ra and etc. Usually my life is a pretty pampered and cushy one. I have servants galore, people, (peasants, guards, politicians, priests) who bow and obey my every word and all the money and power I could ever want. Yet even with all this, the son of Horus, or Ra whatever can't escape fate, or more specifically bad luck. Yes, I know it's almost unbelievable that someone like me could be dooped by accidents or situations beyond my control, but it's true. Today is the first time I have realized this, for today is the first time I've had such bad luck. I have one ice pack on my head and one on my "ahem" front privates. I have a bruise on my knee and several other blemishes of injury, a missing crown, and a bad stomach ache and a headache. Needless to say it was a frustrating day. You want to know how annoying and painful it was. Well, let me tell you how I got myself into this state.

It all started at 6:30am. I woke up in a rush because I had slept in for 30 minutes and for some odd reason nobody bothered to alert me. In my rushig I tripped over one of my shoes causing me to twist my ankle and fall flat on my face. After wasting 2 precious minutes I found my ankle to be fine and I ran to my bathroom. I stripped down and turned on my shower. Showers always woke me up and made me feel energized for a new day, except today. For another strange reason, some stupid servant in the laundry washing rooms in the palace decided to start the pumps and taps on their water. I had specifically instructed that from Monday to Saturday laundry must always be started at 7:00am which is after I am out of the shower, and this goes for many other high ranking people on the Palace grounds. So anyway he/she/ starts the water and causes my shower to go ice cold. I screamed "who's using the water!!) at the servants or whoever was responsible and even though I know my voice sounded through the air vents and echoed in the large palace no one seemed to hear me, either that or they just simply ignored me. "Damn ingrates". Now you'd think I would just jump out of the shower right away but I still had soap in my hair, and for my hair, rinsing was an art that took time and skill. So for almost ten minutes I had to stand in an icebox till the soap was out. By this time it's like 10 to 7 and I am so late. I should have been down in the throne room by now. I dried off as fast as I could and was relieved to find my clothes of the day laid out for me, I mean they're usually laid out anyway but for some reason it was like a blessing at that moment. As soon as I was dressed I headed for my earrings and other accessories (which I like to pick out and choose myself) and put them on. I went for my crown but, shit! It was missing!!, "w-where did it go no one ever touches my crown but me" "UGH!" Now I'm getting a little annoyed. Late, freezing, missing crown, what else could go wrong this morning I thought? After another like 10 minutes of searching I decided to leave the crown issue alone for now and just wear my older crown I wore as a prince. It was pretty similar to my usual one but unfortunately the old one was too small and didn't fit through my hair which had grown since then. But I figured it had to suffice for now because I was short of time. As I headed down the stairs towards the throne room I got many suspicious and funny looks from guards and servants about the crown thing but I just rolled my eyes and carried on. I reached the room and my priests had the same expressions on their faces and of course the first question asked was "what's with the small crown". I responded with an "I'll explain later``, but I also said "if anyone has seen my usual crown let me know" so I kind of explained it anway.

After the morning sessions I went to lunch with Mana out in the palace garden. We decided to order from a place outside the palace cuisines for a change and chose a unique place with some Egyptian mixed with East Indian food. By this time I assumed the rest of my day would go on without incident. Oh how wrong I was. After lunch it was time to discuss matters and issues from the peasants such as land, crops, divorces, lawsuits etc. I was basically the judge on most of the issues. My priests and advisors would usually handle the matters and I could object or suggest and or demand something else otherwise, basically I had the final decision. 5 minutes into event my stomach started to feel funny, then it got worse. I quickly excused myself from the proceedings and headed for the nearest bathroom. Now I won't go into any detail but let's just say I was in there for a real long time. The cycle repeated itself for the rest of the afternoon with me having to leave every 10 minutes. *I knew there was something funny about that Indian curry* Again I received odd looks from everyone but this time I glared at all of them with my crimson coloured eyes which apparently can look very intimidating at times. They all looked away pretty quick. Eventually I just left Shimon and the other priests in charge and stayed in the washroom for the next hour. If that wasn't bad enough after 45min I ran out of toilet paper. I had to embarrassingly ask a servant to slip a new roll in the door but I wouldn't let him come in all the way, not because I was self-conscience really but more for the reason that I thought the servant might die upon further entry, if you know what I mean. So like I said the servant was in between the door with his hand reaching in with the toilet paper roll but the toilet was at least 5 and half feet from the door so I had to um….. You know what I'll just end it off with: It was a crappy afternoon, literally! By the time I got out of the bathroom it was dinner time and although I was quite certain my little problem was at its end and I was getting hungry again, I didn't want to risk it by eating anything else, so I ended up just drinking water and eating some dry crackers. To top it all off tonight was rib eye steak night, one of my favourite meals *am crying inside*. Mana tried to comfort me and kept asking if I was okay and although she was just concerned, that _are you_ _okay _phrase was starting to get on my nerves.

That evening myself and my royal court which included my 6 priests and Mana were in the middle of a meeting to discuss the usual evening topics, such as new policies, reading and signing stuff and discussing issues of the day etc. I was sitting upon another throne at the head of the meeting table responding to a suggestion Priest Seto had given on and appraisal or some sort and everyone was listening tiredly but still giving me eye contact. Suddenly out of the corner of my eye I noticed Mana staring at me wide-eyed in horror and not speaking, as if she'd seen a ghost. I just ignored it and continued to speak. Apparently something had been crawling up my back and towards my shoulder but for another odd reason I didn't notice at the time. But Mana knew as well as I did that although I was very strong and dignified most of the time as is the way of a pharaoh, I had this one tiny little flaw….arachnophobia. I was deathly afraid of spiders, so bad that I wouldn't be surprised if I had a heart attack if an intruder ever had a dark ka emerge that resembled an 8 legged freak. At this point I still didn't notice the arachnid and continued with my discussion. Mana quietly got the attention of the priest on her right known as Mahad and whispered to him about trying to use a spell on the thing really fast to avoid commotion amongst everyone, well mainly commotion from me. Mahad, who also knew of my fear decided to try a vanishing spell, but just before he cast it, the spider moved from my shoulder to my chest and became clearly visible. Cue mass freak-out on my part!! "Ahhhh!!!! Get it off get it off get it off!!!!" I screamed and sprang off the throne and started screaming more and wailing frantically. Everyone was trying to get me to calm down so the spider wouldn't bite but it was to no avail. My flailing hands knocked over 3 cups of wine on the floor; I somehow sacked myself against the corner of the table, hit my knee against the corner of the thrown because it was too close to the table, and smashed into a few more pieces of hard furniture before the spider finally flew off me. Everyone else thought the worst was over but amidst my own panicking I didn't even notice the spider was already gone and kept freaking out until I slipped on the spilt wine, smacked my head on the table and knocked myself unconscious.

So here I am now ice packs on head and crotch, throbbing knee, bruises on body parts I didn't even know I had and my head and stomach were in pain again and I still haven't found my crown. Today was the worst luck I ever had. *am crying tears of pain and frustrations*

End


End file.
